It Feels Like God Abandoned Me... And That’s Okay

For almost a year now, I have been struggling with a feeling that God has abandoned me, as if He doesn’t care enough about me to let me be close to Him. I find it easy to question God even when I am going through good times. And find it even easier to think He is nowhere to be found in the bad times. I often find myself crying out to God, “Where are you? Don’t you see me struggling? Why aren’t you here to help me,” with seemingly no response. 

A verse from Habakkuk caught my eye recently, so I decided to study the whole book (it’s really short and I encourage you to read it, too!). Right from the beginning of the book, a clear message really stood out to me. 

Habakkuk 1:2 says “O Lord, how long shall I cry for help, and you will not hear? Or cry to you "Violence!" and you will not save?” This is Habakkuk crying out to God, wondering where God is and why God is letting his enemies prevail over him. I’ve felt like this a lot, like my enemies are prevailing over me, like the stress of school and relationships are prevailing over me. Which leads me to ask God questions like Habakkuk does, where I feel like there is no response. 

However…

Habakkuk 1:5 says "Look among the nations, and see; wonder and be astounded. For I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if told.” This is God’s reply to Habakkuk cry. He says He is working, yet Habakkuk wouldn’t believe it even if he had been told straight up. I am like Habakkuk. I often have little trust that God is working things out for my good. 

I want to point out that asking questions to God is a good thing. There’s a misconception that questioning God means you have little or no faith. In the Bible, we see that the people with the most faith questioned God. Even Jesus asked God if there was a different solution than being crucified to save the world. You can wrestle with God and still embrace Him in the midst of it all. 

Habakkuk lived in a time of turmoil. Actually, we see in the book that God literally raised up Habakkuk’s enemies against him. It makes sense why Habakkuk would question God for this. Wouldn’t you? What didn’t make sense to Habakkuk and to me is that God would purposely allow Habakkuk to fail, to lose, to suffer. But God wants us to be patient. Even if it may take a while, God’s plans will always work out. They’re being worked out right now. Like Habakkuk, we often feel discouraged or frustrated or upset about our own situations and events that take place in the world. We often feel like God doesn’t care, as if he abandoned us. And in the end, Habakkuk’s people did prevail eventually. God will always win. 

I’m here to tell you it’s not over. I feel like Habakkuk a lot. And I hope if you do too, you’ll share Habakkuk’s response to God from Habakkuk 3: 17-18. “Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation.” 

Even when life seems fruitless, like God is letting your enemies prevail over you, like God has left you to lose… Even though times may get worse before the get better, we can choose to be like Habakkuk. We can choose to trust God’s plans and to rejoice in the Lord who gives us salvation. 

- Lauren H.