New Rhythms in the Midst of COVID-19

Last Monday for one of my classes I had to write a forum post about how I was feeling about remote, online learning. This is what I wrote:

This is all so crazy and still doesn't seem or feel real. I am a social person so it's been really hard not seeing my friends, extended family and going to work. At first I was really upset and frustrated, because this whole situation is out of my control. I am the kind of person who likes to be in control and in charge. I feel like everything I envisioned and dreamed about my senior year is becoming the opposite.

Over the past couple months, I have been SO busy. Whenever anyone asked if I could hang out or do another project, I would say yes because that is my nature to do so. I like to have fun and go big. Deep down, for some things, I really wanted to say no because I was so tired and burnt out and just wanted to sleep, but sadly I didn’t have the courage to do so. I like being there for my people and I take on others burdens easily.

Now, because I am forced to stay at home, I have been able to clean my house, get things done and make new daily rhythms as I adapt to the newness of the situation we are living in. I am finding that I can actually eat a full lunch, rather than working through my lunch break. Last night I read a book that has been sitting on my desk for months. As we social distance, I see our society finding the rest that we so desperately need. When we are able to go back into "normal life" post COVID-19, I hope I can bring my new daily rhythms with me and realize that my best self is when I am well rested and when my heart and soul are full.

After a couple days of being home I realized that throwing myself a pity party wasn’t helping me or my family around me. So, like I wrote about in the latter part of my forum post, I saw this time as something positive. I am now thankful for this time with my family and these couple weeks where I am forced to be home. I will be moving to San Diego in a couple months and won’t be with them everyday so it's been fun spending uninterrupted, quality time with each other doing fun things in our home.

Because of this past season of me overworking myself to an unhealthy level, I lost sight of what should be most important on my priority list. My family, eating well, exercising, keeping a clean organized house, taking time to care of myself and most importantly my personal relationship with God. As I have been home, I have taken time to think about all these things and have realized I was putting school, planning events, leading ministries that I deeply love and even priding myself in my busyness above the things that should always be at the top of my priority list.

During this break, I have found myself sitting, being still and letting my mind wander frequently. I am reading a book written by an influential woman, Allison Trowbridge, who came and spoke at my church many years ago. In her book she writes about how her life got so busy that she decided to take a sabbatical (a trip to refresh her mind and soul). In the book she says, “In that silent space- the silence I usually filled with emails and calls and to-dos back home- my mind wondered and marveled and wrestled and was at rest. Silence began to restore me”.

Matthew 11:28 says, “Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest”. This verse and the verses surrounding it are some of my favorite verses. The words that always stand out to me are burdened and rest. I love how we can bring our burdens to Jesus and in return, He will give us rest. The word weary never has stood out to me though. My eyes almost skip over that word because I never considered myself a weary person.Tired and burdened yes, but never weary. I was reading this verse this past weekend and the word “weary” jumped out at me for the first time. I then realized that I just exited a season of weariness. I no longer feel weary, but I definitely did for a long time and didn't even fully know or understand it.

Many of you, sweet sisters, may be feeling tired, burnt out, or weary. My prayer for you is that you would bring all those things to Jesus because He is the One who can bring you rest. I hope you can find time to let your creative minds flow, try new things, get projects done and let your minds be still and wander. Let this time of being remote be beneficial to you and your soul.

- Bella