THE MOMENT MY FAITH CHANGED

The hot air is suffocating in the large meeting hall and I can feel the splinters wedging themselves into my leggings as I inadvertently sway on my knees during the opening prayer. The priest’s voice commands the room, over 200 teens and leaders intently focused on his explanation of the celebration of Adoration. The sweaty bodies surrounding me began to waver, but I continued to kneel high, like listening to the priest’s voice was a life vest and I was drowning in the ocean. Although I was raised cradle Catholic, or Catholic since birth, I had never experienced this ritual before. I had become transfixed by the glittering monstrance at the center of the room showcasing the body of Christ. Flashes of different emotions, peace, sadness, and joy overcome me and I feel hot tears welling up in my eyes. This has got to be God, it has to be! Before then I had always been passive in my faith; of course, I had attended faith formation classes when I was younger and had begun my confirmation journey earlier that year, but I had never participated in mass or taken prayer seriously. But in that large meeting hall in Lake Tahoe together with hundreds of other teens so on fire with their faith, I knew I had felt the presence of the Holy Spirit.

The San Jose Diocesan Youth Retreat, or DYR for short, is a staple for many young Catholics in the Bay Area. Every year, hundreds of Catholic high school students and leaders pile into four or five busses to make the four-hour journey from Campbell, California to Zephyr Cove, Nevada for a week-long retreat at beautiful Lake Tahoe. Here the teens play games, share stories, swim in the lake, and learn more about their Lord and Savior. When I signed up to go, I was a little nervous. I knew a couple of people who were also going from my time in the Confirmation program, but I wasn’t close with any of them. I sat with a complete stranger on the bus and busied myself by playing games on my phone. However, by the end of the week, those strangers had become life-long friends. After I experienced the Lord’s presence during Adoration, I knew I was being called to dedicate my life to Him.

When I returned home from the mountain top, I felt compelled to be more involved in my church community. I began singing in the choir with high school students who are now my best friends, received training to become a lector, and started attending youth group. This change is evident in my everyday life as well. I started to pray more, giving up my stress to God in situations where I previously would have shut down from stress. I'm willing to take more risks, like tutor challenging kids at the local organization Youth NOW, because I know my God will guide me through my fears of ridicule or anxiety. My whole life had changed; I had gone from being passive in my faith to having an identity centered on being a daughter of Christ. I volunteer more, even serving as a leader at the middle school DYR for two years. I’ve laughed, cried, praised, and preached with the people I’ve met through the church. Not only have I become increasingly confident in my leadership skills, but as I walk with my Lord, I continue to become a better version of myself. 39°0′1″N 119°57′9″W, Zepher Cove, Nevada. This is where my life changed forever.

-Carly